Cut Up and Caught Up

After trying to steal about $300 worth of copper wire, a man in Glendale, Arizona lost his finger.

Joshua Allen Goverman, a 29 year old resident of Glendale thought that stealing a couple pounds of copper wire would make him a couple hundred bucks, but instead of gaining some money, he lost a piece of him, literally.

Joshua was taken into custody a week after the incident. He denied being responsible for the wrongdoing. “Joshua related he lost his finger while working on a car. That version slightly changed when Joshua observed the other half of his finger, now residing in the Glendale Police Evidence Room,” stated Glendale Police.

Like most people nowadays, Joshua shared his injury with social media. He posted a picture of his missing finger on Facebook, only to serve as another piece of evidence for the Glendale Police Department.

Read more about the story here. And watch it on CBS 5.

Not Perfect… But It’s Definitely Worth It

To an outsider looking in, it might seem like everything is perfect in my world. Since I am able to manage a child, a house, work, and school, they think it is safe to say that everything for me goes as planned. But the reality is, that 90% of the time, it doesn’t.

Yes, I plan almost everything in advance, but that doesn’t assure me that it will work out the way I scheduled it. The key to keeping it together is to have patience. That is one of the hardest things to do when you are a single mom because you have so much going on at once. But trust me, it makes your life so much easier and calmer.

Always have a plan B, C, D, etc. one of those backups aught to work if the original plan doesn’t. It does not mean that you are settling for less, but making the best out of something that was just not able to go through.

I always joke around and say that the universe has something against me, because if it is not one thing, it is the other. Either I get a flat tire, my baby gets sick, or I am short on money because some unexpected expenses came up. A lot of these things are things that you have no control over; so let them happen and fix them to the best of your ability.

Whether it is car problems, unexpected emergencies, or any other curve ball that was thrown your way, take charge of the game. Don’t let one little screw up ruin your day, or even your family’s day. It is definitely no their fault that things did not go as planned.

Remember, take a deep breath, think it through, and instead of completely throwing your plans out of the window, refurbish them and try to make the best of it.

Dating as a Single Mom

When I started writing this blog I knew off the bat what some of my topics were going to be. Like support, organization, budgeting, etc, but I never thought to include a very important topic: dating as a single mom. I am a very private person, and usually don’t share much about my personal life, but I’m willing to do it in order to help single moms out there to move on.

While some people believe that single moms need to lower their standards because they have a child, I think the opposite: raise them! If you care for your child as much as you say you do, you must only want what’s best for them. So why settle for a guy that isn’t anything but the best?

It took me months before I felt comfortable talking to men again. I would ignore any guy that tried to get my attention. In my opinion, there was no one that was good enough for my baby girl. No one was good enough to be such a big influence in her life, until I met Marco. 

I met Marco in a history class in January. Like I did with every other guy, I ignored him for a couple of weeks, until slowly but surely, he grew on me. We won each other’s trust and hearts. He eventually met Itzarih, and they fell in love too.

It’s not always a walk in the park, but it can be well worth it in the end. “It is quite interesting, difficult, and beautiful at the same time…interesting because it is definitely a different experience, difficult because of the time management, and beautiful because you find yourself falling in love with both of them,” Marco said.

There’s nothing wrong with moving on with your life. You need to find your own happiness in order to give your best to your family.

Family Time

Once you have found your support, organized your life a little bit, and hopefully managed your expenses, you cant forget the most important part… being a good parent. I don’t claim to be the perfect mom; it has taken me some time to realize that you cannot buy your child’s happiness by simply spoiling them with material things. You have to give them quality time and attention.

I know that it isn’t always easy to make time for family, but if you have managed to master the three things in the first sentence, you’ll be fine. There are a lot of family activities in your town, look at your daily newspaper for information.

One of my favorite places to take my daughter Itzarih is to Westgate in Glendale. An entertainment district filled with so many things to do, like dine, shop, and even enjoy live music. I decided to take my daughter there this past Friday and we had a blast. We enjoyed a live performance from Vinyl Nova, a local band on the rise.

You don’t have to have a huge budget to attend these events; they are completely free, just sit back in one of their comfy chairs, and enjoy the amazing show. I spoke to Kim, a mom at the fountain park, she was dancing around to the music with her 6-year-old daughter. “I love coming here, I get to relax and my daughter always has fun,” Kim said. I also spoke to Patricia, a mom of four. “You don’t need a lot of money to enjoy a beautiful evening like this with your family,” said Patricia.

No matter what it is you like to do, go to a museum, park, the mall, or movies, make sure you make some time in your life for family.

Managing Your Expenses

Being a single mom sometimes means half the income and twice the spending. Money becomes a very big deal because if not managed correctly, it can bring down your whole household. I was able to find many great tips online, but finding what works best for you is key.

I have tried many different things to try and manage my money the most efficient way, and what I have found to have helped the most is staying organized. This is the perfect follow up to my previous post because it helps put the tips to good use. This is a great instance to use your calendar, planner, or any tool you may have to keep you on track. The way I have gotten through many months of hard times and financial stretches is by staying organized.

I use my planner to write down when every single one of my bills is due. I also include the dollar amount that I owe, so I could make sure that I have an idea of how much I will have to deduct from my bank account. Remember, staying on track with your planner is half the work to staying on track with your bills. Crossing off days helps visualize what bill is due next.

I was able to talk to two single moms, Joselyn and Yolanda about how they manage to stay on budget. Yolanda, a single mom of two has realized the importance of budgeting. “If I don’t organize my money properly, I’ll be broke the day after my paycheck,” Yolanda said. “I get paid bi-weekly, so I make sure I have a budget for at least two weeks,” said Joselyn.

Budgeting definitely takes some skills. Practicing those skills will only make you better and wiser with your money.

Staying Organized

             As a single mom, I have found that time is of the essence. I cannot seem to find the time to just sit around and do nothing, simply because there is so much stuff to do. An amazing way that I have found myself keeping on track with my duties is to stay organized.

            When applying for a job, most of the time you will find ‘great organization skills’ listed on the requirements. Being organized is a great skill that keeps your time well managed, and helps you make the most of your day.

            You can find tips to staying organized all over the web, but these are the tips that work best for me.

First of all, find out what works best for you. If you like to handwrite everything, then maybe an old school planner will work best for you. Whether it is a planner, calendar, computer, blackberry, or any other smartphone, finding what works for you is key. What I have found to work best for me is a planner. I prefer the smaller one because I am able to stick it in my purse and take it with me everywhere I go.

Make it a goal to write down all of your duties, like doctors appointments, meetings, work schedule, bills due, or even some assignments that you might have coming up. I know that staying on schedule doesn’t always work with a baby, but it never hurts to have one, and at least try.

Also, remember to check your calendar daily, there is no point in creating a schedule if you’re going to miss important dates on it.

There is no right or wrong way to stay organized. Only you would know when something is working for you. Good luck!

Finding Your Support

            If you are prideful like me, asking for help is not easy. But as a single mom, it is something that must be done. Although not everyone is willing to help when you when you feel like you need it the most, it never hurts to ask.

            I am where I am a today thanks to two very important people in my life, my mom, and my very supportive little sister Jasmine. She has been a very important factor in my decision to stay in school.  She took a brave step in accepting to take care of my 18-month-old daughter while I work, go to school, or just need some time for myself. I say brave because she has two babies of her own. She is truly an inspiration. I am blessed that someone as strong as her watches over my daughter while I am away.

            The key to receiving help is to ask for it. You cannot expect people to be willing to help you if they don’t know that you need the help in the first place. Find someone that you trust and feel comfortable speaking with. They might be able to help, or know of someone or something that can be of some sort of help to you and your family.

            “I would have never known that my sister needed help if she didn’t ask for it. She is known as such a strong person that everybody thinks that she is doing fine on her own,” Jasmine said. “I’m honored that she came to me for support.”

            Don’t be afraid to ask for support. The worst thing someone could say is no. And trust me, if it is someone that you feel you love and they love you back, they will never let you go through the journey alone, like my little sister. Thank you Jasmine!

From Left: Itzarih (my daughter), myself, Rene (Jasmine’s son), Jasmine (my sister)